Saturday, August 2, 2008

Setting captives free 2: I don't care what you think.

The reason I'm so public about my former struggle with porn is to help people. Also, it helps keep me accountable, because people ask me about it, how I'm doing, and I can't lie to someone's face. I probably wouldn't lie to someone's back, either! So why risk public embarrassment to help people? So many guys have come up to me, and shared that they have or had similar suruggles, and I get a chance to talk and minister to them about it. Hopefully, I've been able to help some.

Porn addiction is considered "normal" in today's society, and almost acceptable. "Boys will be boys", after all. We were watching Borat last night (don't ask me why!) and there was a scene of Borat's friend masturbating to a cherished magazine. Hilarity did follow, but I was pretty shocked at the boldness of the scene. Porn addiction affected my life in a deep way for many years. Since I was 14, 15 earlier, I wasted countless hours seeking after my sin. Hours I could have spent in so many better ways, spending with family & friends, creating art, educating myself, learning about God. What a waste.

I wonder what people think of me sometime, knowing my "secret". Do they label me as a porn addict when they see me? Like when I see a mentally handicapped brother at church, I can't help to think about his disability. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 says: "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." This is what I've studied lately. It says I'm a new creation, a new man, since being washed by the Lord Jesus. The guy that sought after porn constantly is gone. Oh, I'm not some robot that's programmed to only do the right thing, I'm gonna screw up occasionally. This is part of a recent study lesson: "If we are sinners who are trying to be good, we will inevitably fall. But, if we are saints who occasionally sin, our nature is such that we hate sin, and our habitual pattern of life will be to walk in righteousness." I used to be a sinner who tried to be good, and I did fail. I'm striving to be a righteous man in a sinful body.

So what I'm trying to say is, if someone wants to label or judge me, I don't care what you think. That guy isn't with us any more.