Fasting- day 1

I've never truly fasted before. I've skipped a meal occasionally, or given up a certain thing for a time. There's fasting for medical reasons, and Biblical reasons. I've tried for Biblical reasons before, to sacrifice something for God, to say no to my flesh. The Bible says to keep your fasting private, not to brag about it, showing how spiritual you can be. So why am I telling the whole interweb? Well, never did a proper fast before, and thought I should document the experience. I remain humble that I am the least of spiritual people.

I've been reading about reasons to fast medically (maybe medically is the wrong word, how about health fast), and I felt I could benefit. I've had asthma & allergies for many years, and was reading that a fast could even help allergies. Well, Ok, I'll give it a shot! I could use a fast for Godly reasons, too. Two birds with one stone, right?

So day 1 went much easier than expected. I'm only having water & apple juice (recommended). Before I get into the day, let me say I've been practicing different eating habits. I habitually overeat, always have, and carry a little extra weight, 20, 30 pounds. The only thing that has saved me from being more overweight is I've had pretty active jobs. So i was reading from Setting Captives Free about another course they have, The Lord's Table. It follows the same principles as the Freedom course I took, and is based on the fact that overeating is gluttony, a sin. I've been working hard this year to get as sin-free as possible, and found this to be an area I could use some improvement in. So I've been trying to eat only when I'm hungry, and then only enough to satisfy me. It's been working, I've lost over 10 pounds in a month or so!

So back to day 1. I was only hungry a few times, and when I was, I drank some juice. I had good energy all day long, and still feel pretty good, at 8PM here. At lunch time, I did some Bible reading, substituting spiritual food for physical food.

My top 5

There's a radio show called "Life & Lyrics" on my local indie radio station. L & L features someone of prominence in the community, and they talk about 5 songs that shaped their lives. I had been thinking what mine were for a couple weeks here, and here's my Life & Lyrics show:

Journey: Saparate Ways- This is pretty much the song that introduced me to rock music. I was maybe 11 or 12, my brother had a great stereo system in his room, and when he was gone, I would put on those giant headphones, put the record on (yes, this was a real vinyl record), and play it over & over. That whole album was great, and I still have it, on CD of course.

Guns & Roses: Sweet Child of Mine- I was about 17 & remember working nights at a supermarket when this song first came out, some guy made fun of it, and I thought it was annoying, too. Like a weed, that song grew & grew on me, and I became the rebellious, nice guy rocker, complete with a great big mullet! Like Jon Bon Jovi, but better looking!

dc talk: Jesus Freak- marks the end of my rebellious stage, ha! I became a Christian in 1991, and this song came out a few years later, but makes a good tranformation from sex, drugs & rock & roll to music that reflects my new life in Christ. I almost chose King's X: Faith, Hope, Love album, which was out around a few years earlier, I think, but Jesus Freak reflects where I was at more at the time. I was a new Christian, and hung out with very spiritual people.

Jars of Clay: Flood- Not much later, Jars debued with their groundbreaking album. It introduced me to folk rock, and on later Jars albums, americana, bluegrass and jazz. They remain one of my favorite bands, and I've loved every time I've seen them. they came to my church once, too! I got to prepare their coffee.

Jack Johnson & friends: A Broke Down Melody- This song rocks in the mellowest way possible! Jars helped me appreciate a whole new world of music, folk, blues, jazz, soul, so many new things. Jack's pretty popular now, but this is the kind of music I would have laughed at as a kid! This song is from a lesser-known album with some of jack's friends. My wife loves the beach, and is making me long for relaxing times near the ocean, hearing mellow tunes.

I really am working!

Here's proof:

But I did draw this many weeks ago. Um..the ink is new this week! I did decide to just work on open pages for Children of Light, and not just sit and wait for artists to come around. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the artists who've volunteered. Mostly I was waiting until my pages came up to actually work on them. Thought I could get ahead this wasy, and keeping busy is good for me.

Workin' and waitin'

I did some drawing for the 1st time in weeks today, felt pretty good. Usually I feel like this is what I was created for when I'm making comics! Hopefully someday I can do this all the time.

Why I haven't drawn is I've been doing a lot of editor-type stuff. Trying to get hold of guys working on Children of Light pages, organizing Timmy submission stuff, and generally waiting for people to get art back to me. It's teaching me patience.

Setting captives free 2: I don't care what you think.

The reason I'm so public about my former struggle with porn is to help people. Also, it helps keep me accountable, because people ask me about it, how I'm doing, and I can't lie to someone's face. I probably wouldn't lie to someone's back, either! So why risk public embarrassment to help people? So many guys have come up to me, and shared that they have or had similar suruggles, and I get a chance to talk and minister to them about it. Hopefully, I've been able to help some.

Porn addiction is considered "normal" in today's society, and almost acceptable. "Boys will be boys", after all. We were watching Borat last night (don't ask me why!) and there was a scene of Borat's friend masturbating to a cherished magazine. Hilarity did follow, but I was pretty shocked at the boldness of the scene. Porn addiction affected my life in a deep way for many years. Since I was 14, 15 earlier, I wasted countless hours seeking after my sin. Hours I could have spent in so many better ways, spending with family & friends, creating art, educating myself, learning about God. What a waste.

I wonder what people think of me sometime, knowing my "secret". Do they label me as a porn addict when they see me? Like when I see a mentally handicapped brother at church, I can't help to think about his disability. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 says: "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." This is what I've studied lately. It says I'm a new creation, a new man, since being washed by the Lord Jesus. The guy that sought after porn constantly is gone. Oh, I'm not some robot that's programmed to only do the right thing, I'm gonna screw up occasionally. This is part of a recent study lesson: "If we are sinners who are trying to be good, we will inevitably fall. But, if we are saints who occasionally sin, our nature is such that we hate sin, and our habitual pattern of life will be to walk in righteousness." I used to be a sinner who tried to be good, and I did fail. I'm striving to be a righteous man in a sinful body.

So what I'm trying to say is, if someone wants to label or judge me, I don't care what you think. That guy isn't with us any more.

Setting captives free

Some of you know, some don't, that I had been a porn addict since I was old enough to know what it was. I'm 37 now, so that's a lot of years (too early for me to do the math!). For many of those years, I was a Christian, pretending to be a faithful follower, while living a double-minded life. I made a few public declarations of freedom at my church, but kept failing in my struggle.

My problem was, I tried to conquer sin under my own power. It just can't be done! The only key to being free from sin is TRUE repentance, which means turning from the sin, and turning toward God at the same time. I tried to do it for my glory, for selfish reasons like being a better Christian, husband, etc. Doing it for God's glory is the true way to freedom.

I had still been struggling with this sin until April of this year, when I discovered Setting Captives Free. It has free online courses designed to help you have permanent freedom from sexual sin, weight loss, homosexual lifestyle, and several other courses. You'll get a mentor that will work with you through the course. It's been a blessing in my life, as I've finally learned what it takes to be free from this sin! I feel closer to God than I ever have before! If you're a Christian, and there's any hint of sexual immorality in your life, even if you check out girls in their summer clothes, you need this course. If you don't know God, and you're into porn, you're hurting your relationship with your spouse, or future wife (for you single guys)! Don't kid yourselves, this is serious stuff! Please check it out, or ask me any questions you want to.

lazy Sunday

A pretty lazy day so far. Melissa is sick in bed, so I stuck the puppy outside, turned on shows for the kids, and vegged out reading comics (sorry, having a bad dad day). I got 3 of The First graphic novels from Crossgen, and was working my way through those.

I also updated my Comicspace page, to show the current pages, and buying info. I didn't realize I got a nice review back in 2005 from Comixpress. Kinda brightened my day!

This week, I'm gonna try to update my long-neglected Myspace account for the comic, as well as make a Facebook page, too. Can't beat free promotion!